Impractical Devil Hunters
by Choo plus Choo Equals Train
Summary: After Vergil gets the crew in trouble with Tru TV. they have to take the places of the jokers. Hilarity ensues! Devil May Cry and Impractical jokers
1. Chapter 1 episode one

**Welcome to my first completely humorous fic.**

**This has been an idea I've been thinking about for awhile and I had to get it down.**

**I don't own Impractical jokers or Devil may cry**

In an office, sat the producer of Tru T.V. at a desk, facing four people in chairs. Them being Vergil, Dante, Nero, and Credo. (A/N: Just saying, Credo and Vergil are alive)

"Since someone," said the producer with a harsh look to Vergil, "beat and hospitalized Brian, James, Joe, and Sal, I need replacements since we still need to air a season."

Vergil crossed his arms and glowered. "I will not participate in your foolish show. Get someone else."

The part where one of the jokers, W or U, or some letter, Vergil didn't care, came to mind. The letter disturbed him when he was trying to read in the park. He came up to his bench, and out of nowhere, kisses him. On the lips. Of course he would have know if someone was going to do something to him, but he would never expect someone to do something such as that!

The producer wagged a finger at him. "Ah, but if you don't, I won't drop the charges. Anyway, we couldn't find anyone else to fill in."

Dante shrugged. "Hey, I'll do it." Then he said with a grin. "I get paid to mess around with Vergil and the kid. Seems like a win win situation to me."

Nero sighed. "Kyrie has been bothering me to get a regular job. I might as well do it." Then he added, "And stop calling me kid, old man!"

Credo nodded in agreement to what Nero said first. Kyrie had been bothering him to get a job too since the demon population seemed to be small right now. He also wondered why he had to be here in the first place.

Dante pointed a Vergil. "Hah! You have been out voted!"

Vergil's eyes narrowed in irritation. Other wise, he was quiet.

"I'm taking that as a yes," said the producer, pulling out forms for the group to sign, to which Vergil reluctantly signed. "Come back here tomorrow, and you'll be informed of what to do."

Episode one-Meet the Devilish jokers!

After meeting up with the Tru T.V. producer to get more of the gist of what they're doing, (Vergil realy thought that they should have been told this before they signed the contracts,) they traveled to their designated destination for the challenge.

Dante, to the camera, said, "Hey, and welcome to the first episode of Impractical Devil Hunters! Today, we're at the local supermarket."

Nero said, "What we have to do is say and do what the others tell us."

"Fail to do what the others say, "said Credo, "and you lose."

Vergil looked up from the book in his hand, "Lose the most and you face the punishment."

Dante pumped a fist into the air. "Yeah, lets get this party started!"

…

"Of course I'm first."

"Quit whining Nero," said Dante through the mic. in a closed off room. "Now what should he do?" he asked the two others in the room.

"I got something," said Credo as he brought the mic up. "Nero, do you see where the candy isle is?" Through the monitor, he saw him nod. "Okay, head there and on the way, grab that kids slingshot on the toy rack."

Nero did as he was told, grabbing the toy slingshot and going to the candy isle. _This isn't so hard, _he thought.

"Now open a bag of marshmallows and start shooting them at people."

Nero eyed the bag of marshmallows in his hand with an odd look and then looked to one of the cameras that the others were looking out of. "Really."

"Really really," said Dante through the mic in his ear. "Now start shooting people!"

Nero tore open the bag of fluffy sugary things and slotted one in the slingshot. He ducked down and hid behind a large stack of toilet paper, watching shoppers go by.

Dante slapped Credo on the back. "Man, I didn't think you actually had a sense of humor. Unlike Mr. Doom and Gloom over there," he said while pointing at Vergil who was reading.

"I guess I'll take that as a compliment," said Credo.

Dante looked back to the monitor. "Nero, see that big buff guy, the one that's all in white?"

"Yeah?" said Nero, a little nervous. "The one by the milk?"

"Shoot him."

Nero let out a small sigh as he lined up for a shot and looked out of his cover. He pulled back the string and let the little fluffy cloud go flying. It sailed through the air and bonked the buff guy right in the back of the head, it falling harmlessly to the floor. Nero ducked behind the toilet paper as the man spun around, dropping his milk and letting it explode on the floor.

"Who the hell did that!" roared the large man.

"Uh, guys? What do I do?" asked Nero. "They said we can't fight back in any way."

The only answer he got was uncontrollable laughing in his ear piece.

"Yeah, well screw you guys," grumbled Nero.

The large man was stalking around, fuming like an enraged gorilla. He glared down every isle, but didn't find anything. Eventually, he gave up his search, grabbed another milk and started to walk out after paying.

"Nero, before he leaves, yell out 'bye stay puffed man.'" said Credo.

Not wanting to lose, he yelled out, "Good bye stay puffed man!"

The man whipped around, scanning the area. When he didn't find who said it, he turned around, lifted a middle finger behind his back, along with a few colorful curses and walked out.

"Nero," said Credo, "make a fort out of the toilet paper packages."

"Credo, the hell is wrong with you?" asked Nero as he started grabbing toilet paper packages. "I thought you were the serious one."

"I am not without a sense of humor, Nero."

"Whatever," said Nero as he cleared out the inside, trying to ignore the odd looks coming from the shoppers.

"Get inside," said Dante, laughter in his voice. "Take the marshmallows and slingshot with."

Nero did as he was told, crawling inside and stacking toilet paper in front of the fort until only you could see his eyes peeking out.

"Start shooting people who walk pass," said a laughing Dante. "But you have to act like a goblin defending your castle."

Nero looked to the camera with a nervous laugh. "What? How do I do that?" he said to himself.

Dante and Credo were laughing in his ear.

He raised the slingshot to the hole, placed a marshmallow in it and took aim, waiting for someone to walk by.

Soon, a woman walked by with a shopping cart. Nero let go of the string and it hit her on the arm.

"Nyaa!" screeched Nero from his fort in a bad impersonation of a goblin. "Go away from my castle! Nyaa!"

The woman gave the toilet paper fort an odd look and kept walking.

Dante was on the verge of doubling over in laughter.

"Nero, burst out of the castle when another person walks by," said Credo. "And stay as the goblin."

"Oh God," Nero mumbled.

Another woman came by, with a basket. Nero burst out of the fort, exploding toilet paper packages everywhere, successfully startling the woman.

He raised his arms in the air. "Nyaa! Human go away from castle! Nyaaaaa!"

The woman couldn't have run off faster.

Dante fell back in his chair in hysterical laughter. "Ha! Oh my God! That was hilarious. Hahah!"

A laughing Credo bet down and helped up the immobile Dante. "I haven't laughed this much in so long."

Vergil, was just being Vergil. He found these kind of shenanigans absurd and very stupid.

"Looks like you win Nero. Hooray." said a sarcastic Vergil, not looking up from his book.

Nero gave a thumbs up to the camera. "Nyaa!"

…

"Okay Vergil, you ready?"

"..."

"C'mon, you didn't do anything last time," said Dante. "Just try to cooperate."

"You do know that if you don't try to participate," said Credo, "That you'll be charged for that crime you committed."

"None of us are going to bail you out," added Nero.

Vergil turned away from the camera. "What do you require me to do?"

Dante fist pumped. "Yes. Okay, go to the milk isle."

Vergil walked over to the rows of refrigerated milk. He silently waited for the order with arms crossed.

"Grab two jugs of milk," ordered Dante.

Vergil didn't say anything as he grabbed two jugs in each hand. On the inside, he really hated taking orders from Dante.

Dante and the other two were holding in laughter. "Okay, pour them out on the floor and pretend to slip in it."

"No,"

"Come on," whined Dante in his ear.

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Last chance," sang Dante

"No."

"Damn! Fine, you lose."

….

"Dante, we're going to get you on this one," said Nero through the mic.

"No your not, I'm too awesome for that."

"Well let's see how awesome you are, old man." Nero smirked. "Climb on top of one of the isles."

Dante shrugged. "Okay." He effortlessly climbed the side of the isle and stood on top of it, his head a few feet from the ceiling.

"Now..." Nero paused for dramatic affect. "TWIRK YOUR ASS Off!"

"Okay th- WHAT!" Dante sputtered and almost fell off the isle. He waved his hands around and said, "You want me to twirk!?"

"C'mon Dante," Nero taunted. "I thought you were too awesome to lose."

Dante laughed nervously, "Yeah, I am too awesome to lose."

"Wait," said Credo. "Call everyone in the store first."

Dante flipped him off. "F you man." He took a deep breath. "HEY EVERYONE! LOOK OVER HERE!"

All heads swivel towards him.

Dante swallowed his pride, turned around and did it.

Dante, the legendary devil hunter, just twirked in front of an entire store. Some people laughed, most gave him weird looks.

Nero and Credo fell out of their chairs in laughter while Vergil rolled his eyes and went back to reading.

"Dante," said a breathless Nero on the floor still, "I can't believe you did it! I'm never going to let you live it down."

Dante hopped off the isle. "Shut it! I'm getting out of here."

"Yeah, I think he deserves the win," said Credo as he go back into his chair.

Nero nodded, also sitting up. "Definitely."

…

Credo nervously smoothed out his shirt. "Okay, I think I'm ready."

"Alright Credo," said Nero through Credo's earpiece, "Grab an empty cart." Credo searched around and found one. "Push it really fast and jump in."

Credo started to push it while running and when it was going fast enough, he hopped inside. Shoppers dived out of his way as he barreled past with Credo saying a quick sorry. Eventually he stopped and was right next to a woman.

"Credo," said Dante, "ask that woman 'how much?'"

Credo's face when slightly pink. "Uhh, um." He coughed in his hand. "How much?" he asked quietly.

"How much what?" the woman asked.

Dante said, "Say, 'to get you in this cart so I can go to town.'"

Credo blinked and laughed nervously. "Um, how much does the milk cost?"

"Ohhhh!" yelled Nero and Dante.

"We got him!" cheered Dante.

**Looks like Vergil and Credo are on the loser board.**

**Later: The jokers are going to be spinning the wheel of doom!**

**Yeah, that's what I got so far. I would really appreciate it if some of you would tell me how well I did. Then I might consider finishing the episode and making more. It would be awhile since it takes time for me to make these.**

**Don't worry, Vergil will start to cooperate. He just needs more motivation...**


	2. Chapter 2 episode one

**A thank you to QueenSoledad, Guest, and the guest HawtSauce for the first reviews to the story. **

**I don't own Devil May Cry or the impractical jokers**

"Hey, and welcome back to Impractical Devil Hunters," said Dante to the camera with his hands in the air. "We're in the park and we're going to be spinning-"

Nero popped up in front of him. "The Wheel of Doom!"

"We spin the wheel and have to do whatever it lands on," said Credo.

"Fail to do it and you lose," grumbled Vergil.

Dante thrust a thumb over to his brother. "I stole his book and hid it so that he might do something this time. Plus the producer forced him to play this round."

"Jeeze do you know how hard it was to get it from him?" asked Nero. "I got stabbed seven times. Seven!" he said, holding up seven fingers. "The one time I'm glad I'm half devil."

"Deserved it," muttered Vergil.

"Well," said Dante, "Let's get this show on the road!"

…

At a grassy park, under a large shady tree, the four jokers were standing around a wheel with different actions on it, colored in red. One of them was blue and said that the other three jokers had to give you twenty bucks each.

"Whose great idea was it to put that on there?" asked Vergil, pointing the blue space. He was trying to be more engaged because he saw the staggering fine he would get if he didn't. He was going to hate every second of this challenge.

Dante raised his hand. "It was mine."

"Jeeze old man," said Nero, "How far in debt are you to Lady?"

Dante looked away. "You don't want to know."

"Dante," said Credo with concern, "you should really get that settled."

"Well I'm hoping that this job will help me pay her off." He thought for a moment and shook his head. "No amount of money will ever get me out of her debt," he said with a sigh. The he perked back up. "Alright let's spin the wheel!"

Dante put a hand on the wheel and spun it. He watched it spin round and round, hoping it would land on the blue section. "C'mon, c'mon," he chanted. The spinner started to slow and looked like it was going to stop on the blue. Dante put his arms in the air. "Yeah!" It skipped the blue and landed on red. "No!"

Dante lowered his arms and read the red space. "Run through the park … ." He read the rest in a quiet mumble. "Wait, what?" Dante turned to the others. "What the hell? Who put that on there?!" he yelled with his arms out.

"That was actually one of the original jokers, Joe I think." said Credo. "If you were listening at the conference, you would have known."

Dante closed his eyes and groaned. "Shit."

"Come on Dante," said Vergil.

Nero started chanting, "Do it! Do it!"

"Okay!" Dante yelled, waving his arms.

The camera is positioned to a side view of the park near the fountain. It's a busy day and lots of people are walking around or hanging out.

Coming from the right of the camera is Dante, naked. At a full on sprint, he ran across the park while yelling at the top of his lungs, "Rainbow jello monkeys stole my virginity!"

Nero and Credo fell on the ground in stitches.

"Has he no shame!" laughed Credo.

"Dante doesn't even know what shame is."

Vergil shook his head and sighed.

…

Nero put his hand on the wheel. "I swear to God, If I get the one Dante got..." He spun the wheel.

It landed on a red space.

"Damn it!" He sighed and read the space.

"Get someone to hug you." In disbelief, he read it again. "What? Is that it?"

Dante waved his arms. "What the hell?!"

Nero laughed and walked into the park.

"I don't understand life anymore," said Dante with his head hung.

Credo patted him on the back. "It's going to get so much worse."

Nero searched around until he found the perfect spot. On a bench, sat two younger girls, about twenty years of age.

Time to use his ultimate attack.

He hung his head and slowly walked to the bench and plopped down on the far side from the chatting girls. He rested his head on his hand and sighed sadly.

The two girls took a glance over to him. "What's wrong?" one of them asked.

Dante stared, dumbfounded. "He's good."

"The dog I've had since I was a little kid died today."

The girls gave him a sympathetic look. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry."

"What did it look like?" the other one asked.

Nero was almost caught in his lie, but improvised by fishing his phone from his pocket and Googling a cute dog picture. The one he found was a really cute husky. He showed it to them and they squealed in delight.

"Ah! It's sooooo cuuuuute!"

Nero nodded. "Yeah, she was. Her name was Candy."

The girls squealed again. "That's the cutest name ever!" They leaned over and gave him the hug.

"I'm so sorry she died," one of them said.

Nero looked at the camera with a smirk. He mouthed the words, 'I win.'

…

Credo lay a hand on the wheel of doom. "I don't know if I even want to spin this thing." With a sigh, he spun the wheel. And it landed on...

Blue!

Credo through his arms in the air. "Yes!" He turned to the other frowning three with his hand out. "Pay up."

The three grumbled as they pulled out their wallets and fished out twenty dollars. They reluctantly placed it into Credo's open hand.

"I call bullshit on that wheel," said Dante. "That thing is out to get me, I know it."

"Or maybe your just an unlucky bastard," said Vergil.

…

Vergil's eyes narrowed as he placed his hand on the wheel. He thought, trying to figure out the right amount of force to use to make it land on blue. Thinking he got it, he spun the wheel.

It stopped just short of the blue space.

Vergil closed his eyes and groaned softly. He opened them and read what he had to do.

"Hood twenty people in under a minute," he read. He turned to the others. "Dare I ask what this means."

"Hooding is when someone has their hood down and you pull it over their head," explained Nero.

Dante ran up from behind, grabbed Nero's hood and pulled it up while yelling, "WHAAAPOW! Just like that."

Vergil crossed his arms. "I'll do it, but not like that."

"Okay, okay," said Dante. He pulled a stopwatch from his pocket. "Okay. Ready, set, GO!" He clicked the button and the minute started.

Vergil turned around and ran to the park. "You can't use powers either," yelled out Dante.

Luckily, today was a little crisp out so a lot of people wore hoodies. He ran to the nearest person, and pulled up their hood. He didn't wait for their reaction as he was already onto the next one. He ran to a couple and hooded both of them at the same time. He hopped over the side of the fountain while hooding three more people. Close to the end of his minute, he had nine-teen people hooded. He walked back to the other jokers.

"Vergil," said Dante, "you still have one more person to go."

Vergil stood in front of his twin, with a completely serious look. He reached behind Dante's head, and just when Dante realized what was happening, Vergil pulled his hood up so hard that he threw him to the ground.

He looked down at his brother and said in a serious voice, "Whapow."

**Nobody lost this round, but Vergil and Credo are still on the loser board.**

**After the commercial break, our jokers will be at the mall.**


End file.
